Idealism Vs reality

Have u been to this 'Chaos' situations when all you have done is wrong? Well then i have idealism, i wanna be a great designer. I think i capable of doing such. But then after a while and life experience after i graduated, it seems that it changed. I mean i have doubt, what is my potential? that question have been haunted me since i was in university, when i didn't feel i m good enough, i backed out.

I might should have choose to be a real artist instead of designer, at least i will have my own idealism and stick with it, but its designer i m talking about, i still need a client to satisfy, i still need peoples who need my service and i hafta know how to pleased them.

The reality is when i need opportunity to show the world that i could to work on my field, it s not coming and the other hand i need cash,and satisfaction to work in every field.

I don't know who am i going to convince, others who have faith in me or myself.

Sometime when i complained i just need to know verbally that i can make mistake and someone i need the most will always be there to backed me out and giving me support.

its all i need.